i'll be home for christmas

you can plan on me. <3

let's just say that it's only sunday and i've had it. i have a mental block on this dumb history presentation. i don't know what to do with it anymore mainly because i didnt understand it in the first place but i had no clue that i didnt understand it. i'm just...so tired. i'm not exceedingly distracted, but distracted enough that i just don't want to do this. and i sent Mrs. Murphy an email, hoping that she could help me, but she hasn't answered and it's annoying me. i'm still glad that i didnt sign up to do this on wednesday. i would have had to finish this AND to write my portal paper for wednesday. i'm hoping that the portal paper will be easier than this. i couldn't get a lot of work done during rehearsal just because of all of the commotion that goes with the first dress rehearsal. and i almost freaked out because everyone was doing their makeup like old pros, and i felt dumb and clueless. i hate feeling dumb and clueless separately, and when you put them together, you have....a disgrunteled freshman who has NO idea what's going on. and as much as i love it here, I WANT TO GO HOME! and not in nine days, but NOW! i haven't been home in about five weeks. it's not as though i haven't seen my parents, but when i see them its for two days and then they have to rush out of here. and they're the ONLY people from home i've seen. i haven't seen Bevin, Gauri, Arielle, Allie, Alex, Jaclyn, Marissa, and my grandmother...for five or more weeks. i missed Uncle Joe's 40th birthday celebration, which is something i've been looking forward to for a long time, and i haven't seen any of my cousins from my dad's side since the SUMMER. and Bevin and i haven't gone more than 2 weeks without seeing each other since we've known each other...i can't explain how happy i am that SHE'S COMING NEXT WEEKEND!!

the play has been a positive experience, no doubt, and i'll just be able to put another notch in my metaphorical belt that is my resume. i just can't believe the amount of work that i have to do this week, of all weeks. i've never had a test the day after opening night before. i also miss the JCC terribly, and now i realize how much easier HS and JCC theatre was compared to this. there's so much more detail that goes into this...and our costume lady is nice but completely nuts. i have no idea how Mrs. Hawkridge doesn't completely lose it with her when she butts in about details both that have to do with costumes (understandable...)and with details that have NOTHING to do with costumes (not understandable!!) but Mrs. Kadic made us the most amazing lunch before the run through and the madness that goes with a run through in costumes and makeup and "OMFG WHERE ARE MY SHOES AND TIE AND COAT AND BRA AND MAKEUP AND #(*#&@*&@*!!!!!!!" and we didn't even warm up. all i can say is..wow.

funny story from yesterday-- Dani and i got lost coming back from Providence. we somehow ended up in Connecticut. and we had to call my dad to get us out of there. the end.

i need to get back to work. i'm all out of ambition, but usually that doesn't stop me. i don't want to break but i feel it coming, and we haven't even started shows yet. rehearsals are usually more stressful than the actual show for me, but i just...don't...want...to....do...it. i need to keep thinking of Christmas. then i'm bound not to break...no pun intended, i promise. thank goodness i'm still cracking jokes.