April 29th? HOW?

First, a compilation of highlights of Sophomore Year.









hmm. what do i have to cover...

1) House! OMG! Why does House keep hallucinating Amber? And I am so happy to see that he actually has a heart about Kutner's death.

2) a brief convo:

Me: you know that quiz that I was all worried about? Well, I got a 100.
My Father: Don't take this the wrong way...but you can be a real jerk sometimes!

BAHAHAHAHAHA

3) the obvious.
it's the end of the semester. It's bittersweet, I guess. I had my last VIA class, last Religious History of Newport class, last SGA meeting, etc. My recital was today. I am so relieved that it's over and also that I'm DONE with journal entries and presentations and quizzes in VIA...LOL

But, if it's at all possible, I'm already starting to miss...
OD runs. Ma's/McDonalds/the usual haunts. Team Sparky and Team Team. mentoring. lengthy arguements with Shane. weekly Miley lunches with Nicole and Ben. Campus Min meetings and events. FATHER TOM. in-depth support sessions with Marie. going to dinner at Ann's and Whit's and having the most amazing game nights and convos. going to shows and concerts. "studying" and random outings with Chelsea in the middle of the afternoon. chinese food nights and being forced to watch Desperate Housewives with Sara. my fabulous birthday party (though that was a while ago)with the most epic game of Apples to Apples. being on Awesomesauce with Minerva and The Boss on Thursday nights. intense discussions in VIA. and a whole lot more that i'm forgetting.

I am so excited for summer...for the besties, for my job, for possibly being in a musical, for the DINER of course, and for my own comfy bed. I am so NOT READY for this semester to be over. Therefore, it is indeed bittersweet.

Let's recap how many good-byes I'm making...or let's not. Probably better that way.

it's about time that it hit me....

well, that just hit me like a ton of bricks.


can we put off May 17th for as long as humanly possible?

PLEASE??!!!!!!

can we just pretend that it isn't happening?

and at the same time, I'm going to be so proud.

I guess it's bittersweet...but holy crap, so many memories.

And while I've become really good at the whole keeping in touch thing...but there is something to be said for someone being next door, across the street, across campus...yeah. you get the point.

In case no one noticed, I'm not so good at this whole change/good-bye/not gonna see you for a while thing. Maybe I have to get better at it.

let's give little ole me a pat on the back, shall we?

Jamie and I were having this talk today about how far I've come, and I feel the need to share.

I don't know if I'll ever have everything I've ever wanted. There's quite a list...and I'm going to try to have everything I've ever wanted. but so many things happened this semester show how far I've come. I'm not at all the person I used to be. I have good days and bad ones. At the time, the bad ones seem like they are days that I'll never get over, and lately I just feel as though wherever I go, I keep getting my ass kicked.

But as Jamie put it, that really doesn't matter...does it...

It sure as hell feels like it does, but she's right. It really, really doesn't. I'm not turning into one of those clishe 'live laugh love' people...but more of a 'I am always willing to stand up for what is right, no matter what' person. I think I always was...it just took me longer to embrace it and once I embraced it, I didn't go about it the right way. I'm still a work in progress. I'm learning how to go about it the right way.

I still have some things I need to get over, but I would like to think we all do, right?

And I close with this:

"A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He/She doesn't set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the quality of his/her actions and the integrity of his/her intent. In the end, leaders are much like eagles; they do not flock, you find them one at a time."

el survey

1.Name and middle name? Gracie (no middle name! my real name is two words)

2.What holiday is your birthday closest to? CHRISTMAS

3.Favorite flavored Pie? something with chocolate and without mint

4.Does it bother you when someone says they will call you and they don't? it honestly depends on who it is

5. Are you allergic to anything? The short list is what I'm NOT allergic to...Glynnis says my resperitory system went faulty in the factory.

6. Is there something special you want for Christmas? Christmas is in 8 months...not like I'm counting ^_^...but not close enough to start thinking about that

7.When was the last time you went swimming? Don't remember

8. Do you like cheese cake? Godiva cheesecake!! nom nom nom

9. How many of the U.S.states have you lived in? 2--> NY <3 and RI

10.Have you traveled outside the country? to Italy when I was 11

11.Do you keep a planner or calendar with daily events? calendar

12.Does anyone like you? apparently!

13.Do you have any strange pets? yes...

14.What is your dream car? I have a few...these days a silver Acura MDX, a black Mercedes GL 450, or a BMW 6 series convertible

15.What did you do today? class, sold tickets for the Last Call, lunch with Chelsea, bothered Shane, therapy, practiced my solo with Melissa, REALLY AWESOME Religious Studies seminar...and it's only 5:47...

16.Are you bipolar? Funny you should ask...but I've gotten a WHOLE LOT BETTER!

17.What is the main ringtone on your cell? when it's actually on ringer? MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT YOU!!

18.Where would you want to go on a first date? that's one thing I have not planned out

19.When is the last time you were hugged? today...by Chelsea

20.Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? My Grandpa did when he was alive

21.How important is romance? ........

22.Have you ever bungee jumped? nope...and I never would, either.

23.Have you ever been white water rafting? no. another thing I probably wouldn't do

24.Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? I guess we can call it that!

25.Are you a cavity free kid? yes

26.Are you an extreme racist? nope

27.What song are you listening to right now? So Close -- Jon McGlaughlin (from Enchanted)

28.What is your favorite song at the moment? I have MANY...but my favorite always and forever song is Welcome to the Black Parade.

29.What was the last movie you watched? I don't remember. how sad is that.

30.Where was the last house you went besides your house? Carnlough :-)

31.Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property? I TP'd my dad's closet once when I was a kid. HAHA

32.Have you ever been punched? sort of

33.Whats the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? I have decided that there is no concrete answer to that statement. One person can change your thinking about the opposite sex forever.

34 Can you open a beer bottle with a body part other than your hand? no

35. What do you usually order from Olive Garden? I have never been to the Olive Garden. how sad is that.

36.Say something totally random about yourself? I am completely and utterly obsessed with TEXTING.

37.Do you have an mp3 player? iPod

38.Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? I think so...except I don't remember which celebrity!

39.Do you have freckles? birthmarks...and lots of them...that Irish skin will do that to you

40.Are you comfortable with your height? these days, yes. though too many people call me cute because of it. then again my height is probably not the only reason; I think how fast I speak kind of lends to it too :-)

41.Do you love someone? what sort of love are we speaking of here?

42.How tall are you? 5"3.75 apparently

43.Do you speak any other language other than English? not speak, but I took French in HS

44.How do you like your steak cooked? still mooing

45.Has anyone you were really close to passed away? My Grandpa, even though I was three; I really wish I knew him more than I did

46.Do you watch MTV? mostly no, but I have always loved My Super Sweet 16!

47.What is something that really annoys you? how the meal plan in Miley only goes until 7:15

48.Have you talked with your parents about the birds and the bees? OH GOD...have I mentioned that awkward moments define my life?

49.What is the best thing in your refrigerator right now? I actually don't know...don't think any of my stuff is in there

50.When is the last time you had professional pictures taken? headshots for Macbeth last year

51.Do you have a crush on someone? a crush...or more? but I actually do have a 'crush' on someone!

52.Does that person like you back? the 'crush'? doubtful. but the obvious? perhaps

53.Do you drive when you go on long trips? YES!!!!

54.Whats the latest you have ever stayed out? don't know, actually

55.Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die? yes

56.Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? no

57.Have you broken a bone or had stitches? no

58.Anyone on your mind right now? sure

59.What color is your hair? light brown

60.What did you do last night? Chorus/Mads practice, worked in the SGA office and did hw, went to Ma's with ze Wifey

i used to be that girl
all alone
but never complained about it.
not a big deal
not a problem
somehow i'll make it work.
but i'm not that girl anymore
i'm never alone
truly happy
but don't disturb the peace.
honestly.
don't bring me back to that place
don't make me live it
don't turn on me
don't make me the loner
all over again.

i've been fighting a cold since monday. i just can't stay on my game this week. sometimes you lose, i guess. but i'm not about to just throw it in. NEVER.

so i had a wonderful Easter.

sung four Masses (well technically, three Masses and a service), went to the city, colored eggs with my babies, made traditional Italian food.

and now my parents are fighting.

my parents rarely fight. but when they do, they always wait until the company leaves before it starts.

i have to go back to Salve tomorrow...and i would really love it if they were speaking before i left. just so it isn't so freaking AWKWARD.

happy easter.

thank you, social psych.

so tomorrow i have a test in social psych...and we're talking about whether or not we are all truly better than average.

apparently, people all tend to describe themselves as better than average...so does that mean that you're average if you describe yourself as better than average? I always thought i was above average..and then i got my VIA paper back today. now, granted, i know that a C is average (and a passing grade that many people would be happy with...) but i don't think of a C is average. B is average. for me. it's not awesome. and I got a B. a straight up 85. i worked my ass off on that damned thing. and people who did it the night before/the day of did as well and some were even better. HOW IS THAT FAIR? isn't it all about hard work? GOOD OLE FASHIONED HARD WORK? HOW COME NO ONE VALUES THAT ANYMORE? (and when did i become my father?)and i even started it ahead of time, like my mother always prods me to do AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED. HA.

but now i have myself thinking (which is NEVER good), and i always thought myself to be better than average. beyond better than average. i couldn't deal with just being average. that's probably one of my greatest fears. i'm a Sigma Phi Sigma candidate, for crying out loud. at least someone thinks i'm better than average (other than my parents, but they have to say that...)

i must be above average because i take things seriously (though some would tell you that i take certain things too seriously). no one takes anything seriously anymore, not even professors. i should be thankful that Dr. LoPresti gave me the 85 i deserve, i guess. at least he gets it. classmates don't take schoolwork seriously. people don't participate. entire class periods become wasted. and presentations are nothing more than people reading from a piece of paper. not to mention that no one cares about turning things in on time...when my computer crashed today, i went around looking for the best possible solution. most people would be passive about it. i almost cried. i suffered no penalty, because i have a good track record.

and then there's chorus practice. people leave early, don't show up at all, come late, don't sing, talk, text, you name it. now i'm not saying that i've never done any of these things, because i have. but i try really, really hard to not be a repeat offender. it's far too laid back for my taste. therefore, i'm ABOVE AVERAGE.

i should really get back to studying that i complain so much about people not doing...

lift my spirits again
give me hope
i'm rearing to go here!
what we've waited for
could just be ours.
make me believe
that we could be
don't discourage me
just make me believe.