a little nervous (??)

only i can manage to be running for office, taking 20 credits, and be in what seems like love all at the same time. but the truth of the matter is that...they can all turn out too amazing for words.

but i suppose i am a tad (oh crap, now i'm using his vernacular...and not on purpose!) nervous about the results of the SGA elections...i've been saying that i don't care because i want to believe that. i love how there are 12 spots and 13 people running. Lucky Thirteen will Lose.

and at the same time...i love how many friends are wearing my shirts, putting up my posters (Rachel and Natalya), taking DOWN my posters (long effing story), drove me to Wal-Mart for supplies (Glynnis), made cookies with me (Kalyna, Cait, and Ben), made t-shirts (Nicole and Kaoru), joining my facebook group, putting "VOTE FOR GRACIE" on their away messages and facebook statuses, and generally saving my ass (Claire, Emilie, and Alli!) . i'm honestly humbled by it all, i really am.

the poster crisis (the already referred to Long Effing Story) kind of broke up the week a bit...i got this stupid email saying that i had to take down a bunch of my posters b/c they would peel the paint off and they were a fire hazard (where WAS i supposed to put them, after all? bulletin boards...or as Shane would put it...on the sender of the email's ass...wow).

but the long and the short of it? VOTE FOR GRACIE FOR SGA SENATOR! because Busy People Get Things Done!

what haven't you told me?

they say the eyes are the windows to the soul
if that theory's right then your soul is all about me.
what you say and what you do just don't match up
what haven't you told me?

i really think we stepped it up
you poured your heart out to me
i listen with everything i had
for what you didn't tell me.

i can't get you out of my head
we can't stand to be apart
and i want so much to give you my heart
and to finally hear what you haven't told me.

I WANT IT ALL.

I want that crazy social life
the endless calls and text messages
never free on weekends
hit me up later bitches (love ya MWAH)!

I want to get those grades
look at me, I got straight A's AGAIN
Good Student Discount and Dean's List ceremonies
oh that Gracie is SUCH a teacher's pet (GRRR).

I want to get the guy
the one I fell the hardest for
just admit your feelings for me
and then we can live happily ever after!

I want to be the best singer
Every concert and choral group
why the HELL didn't I make a capella?
and I know theory too.

I want to be in charge
student senator, campus ministry
OMG she does EVERYTHING
(and she manages to go to CHURCH?)

I want to be busy
but not to feel what happens
when something's gotta give
and you're running on empty.

I want to put the normal feelings aside
not to want what means the most
but I guess we're not robots
I guess I'm only...human.

....but does that mean that I Can't Have It All?

Dear Annoying Little Voice In My Head That's Telling Me "You Can't Do It All" :

Bring it, bitch.

With Love From Gracie!

i'll give you $100 if you find someone busier than me.

i need to make the world aware of what my life looks like until October 10th.

9/24- active campainging meeting
9/25- active campaigning begins
9/26- my parents are coming up, Hunger Concert
9/27-9/28- the rest of Fall Festival Weekend, with events that i have to go to
10/1-10/2- SGA Elections
10/3- my SGA fate is bestowed upon me...muhahaha
10/5- Shane's birthday :-)
10/6- Ann's birthday :-)
10/10- GOING HOME FOR LONG WEEKEND!!!!! YEAHHHHHHH!!!!

over said long weekend i need to:
buy a halloween costume, visit Margaret and Suzanne, probably get a check-up, see my biffles, and go to a family thing. yes, the planning has already started.

but i'm sure i'm forgetting some stupid tests or maybe POP QUIZZES THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT YET that are going to happen while all of this is happening!

it all works out, eventually.

so after the shitty week i had, the past two days COMPLETELY made up for it.

my shitty week was mostly due to a few not so hot grades...which we all know is not okay by me. Dr. Lawber gave us two pop quizzes in Econ and i got a 40 on one. i freaked out on poor Dani, who said she never saw me like that before. she practically held me while i screamed her head off in the middle of Ochre Point Avenue. (i have the best Wifey EVER, thank you.) the next one was better. a 70. at least i passed. not normally a mantra that i live by, but after a 40 and knowing that your lowest grade is going to be dropped, it's livable. i currently have an 85 quiz average in Econ b/c i got a 100 on a reaction paper. still not okay, but we're heading into the third week of the semester and i have time to pull it up.

the other class that pissed me off was Earth Science. two quizzes this week that we knew about...ten questions...one chapter each. you would THINK that would mean that SMALL LITTLE DETAILS would be excluded from the quiz and BIG CONCEPTS would be what we were tested on. it wasn't even like i didn't study the details! i just didn't study them as hard as the big concepts. every educator that i've ever had has been trying to get me to understand that i should only study big ideas and not waste my time with details because i did that forever. and i always completely overstudied. now i have to remember SPECIFIC ROCK TYPES??!! from a professor who says 'basically' every third word? OY.

not to mention the emotional crisis that i had to handle that wasn't mine, not being able to find helium balloons for Dani for her 21st birthday, falling UP stairs twice in one day, not being able to find the common room remote to watch the House premiere, the swipe card reloader being out of service, and then the icing on the case, finding the family gathering pictures on Facebook. that broke me. i threatened to come home next weekend.

there WERE some good things, though. i had two GOOD quizzes, and one of them was a surprise. i met my soulmate in Nicole, who is a freshman and in campus ministry. and the House premiere...was just amazing, though i want to hunt down Wilson and kick his ass (House and Wilson NEED EACH OTHER!). i even got my laundry done.

then on Friday, after lunch with my Wifey and making campaign t-shirts with Nicole, GAURI CAME TO NEWPORT!!!! Kaoru and I picked her up and waited for the shuttle forever, and then we ate at the Red Parrot. we came back, hung out with Shane, came back to my room and gossipped about people and watched National Treasure (or as much as we could get through before we fell asleep). we had brunch with Megan and Courtney then i showed Gauri as much of Newport as i possibly could. i took her to all of my favorite stores, we went to the arcade, then sat in Starbucks (just like if we were on LI) and came back and gossipped some more :-) (about people who were NOT in earshot!) Ann and Whit took us back to Gateway for Gauri to meet her bus. and now i'm back here, eating chinese food and leftovers from last night.

and i'm SO MUCH HAPPIER!!!!

i legit love my life.

i've realized that i haven't given a life update in a while. so, here goes.

i've been up until 2am pretty much every night doing work. and yet the only class that i really could do without is earth science because the professor is probably around a hundred years old and he goes on for an hour and fifteen minutes about...igneous rocks. my desk is next to the wall. that's usually where my head winds up. my other classes are mostly discussion and my social work professor, Dr. Sylvia, is letting me do the community service project that i wanted to do even though the outline will be given to her past the deadline. Dr. Sylvia is my hero for the week. something else awesome about this semester is that i get to have lunch with my Wifey three days a week! and i get to get up early to finish reading that i couldn't finish the night before, and i have a long break before my 4pm class on Tuesdays and Thursdays to do more reading.

my mom made her TV debut this week on Tabitha's Salon Takeover! at some point we actually heard her voice (and our home phone number was busy with people calling) but i yelled at her because she kept her sunglasses on in the first shot that we saw her in. my grandma called and asked my mom if the salon people had used the dirty salon supplies on her hair...that's my fabulous family for ya.

i've decided that i'm running for SGA senate, which may be the best thing ever or it could be the biggest mistake i've made in a while. Ann and Claire yelled at me because they know i have too much on my plate. i know they are doing it because they love me and that makes me feel good. but i've figured out that i must get some sort of odd pleasure out of being so busy that i could cry. i'm going to have to miss the Voices in Harmony concert because of the fall retreat, and next semester i'm going to have to miss the spring retreat because i wanna be in the musical. maybe this is what college is all about...making choices. but it's so great at the same time. i also need to add how much i LOVE my new freshman buddies-Rachel, Ben, Natalya, Jenn, Ali, and the whole rest of them-and i LOVE that they will all wear my SGA TSHIRTS!!!! Rachel loves US history, Ben loves music and musicals, Natalya is from California which makes her fascinating in itself, and Jenn watches HOUSE!!!!!!

Friday i had my usual lunch date with my Wifey and then i went downtown to do some xcore shopping for her 21st BIRTHDAY!!!! i finally got myself some starbucks, then came back, went to Panera with Claire and the rest of the Carnlough cottage girls, came back, watched I Love The New Millennium with Claire and Jenna for a while, then hung out with Shane on his late shift for a bit. Saturday i went with Megan to the March of the Seahawks and then to see the Salve football game against SUNY Maritime...which caused me to have some mixed alliances. went back, went on the cliff walk with Megan, and then Claire and i had our starbucks adventure...it took ONE HOUR to find an effing PARKING SPACE in downtown Newport. no joke, ONE HOUR, and plus the time it took for me to run into some random ass store to get quarters to feed the meter...only to find that the parking space that we finally ended up with had two hours and five minutes left on it. that was some damn good coffee. Saturday night Whit and i went to Sex and the City in Wakehurst and we saw Claire and Ashley, so we all kind of walked back together.

i love my life. have i mentioned that lately?? and...GAURI is coming to see me on FRIDAY!! and i think i'm going home in 28 days-ish. by the time i'm home, i'll know if i'm an SGA senator.

i guess we can call it my college resume.

i was thinking about all the stuff i've done while i've been a college student. so, here goes the grand recap.

-VIA program
-dean's list for fall 07 and spring 08
-university chorus
-madrigals
-church choir
-campus ministry student council
-campus ministry spring retreat committee
-voice lessons with two student recitals
-fall 07 production of the "Scottish Play"
-scripture sharing
-East Bay special olympics volunteer
-St. Clare nursing home volunteer
-and...major credit overload, especially this semester.

no wonder everyone tells me i'm insane...and i think i want to run for SGA senator.

the way it works for me
is that when someone says
they won't be in my life anymore...
they won't. and nothing will change that.

but you came back into my life
as quickly and unexpectedly
as you entered it
and it's so, so good to see you here.

but where will we go from here?
will it be the way it's been
where the tension is always there
and no one makes a move?

all i heard from people who care
is that you're not for me
but i don't care what they say
and i'm ready to take another shot.

but is this our last shot?
is this our last chance
to be something together?
or should i just give up?

i'm not ready to say it now
no 'que sera sera' for me
i'm blessing the day
that you came back
so
we
can
have
one
more
try.

i'm baack....

this is so, so wrong. but i miss my Miley room. my new room in Young doesn't feel like my room yet. i love it. it has a BATHROOM, which is so, so much better than the shittastic communal bathroom in Miley. there is an actual common room (but apparently Miley has a common room now....wtf...), it has a working elevator, there are actual closets instead of holes in the wall, Dani's apartment is literally next door and Ann's building is across the street, and the room is just all around big. Claire said that my Miley room prob didn't feel like my room at this time last year. i said that it didn't, but not as much as this doesn't. it makes no sense. the room is awesome. i have my pictures up. but it was a bitch to trek down to Miley Mart tonight and bum a ride off poor Claire. i didn't eat from 1pm until just a half hour ago. yay 4pm class and then chorus and mads.

i only have one class tomorrow, with...DR. LAWBER!!!! i have to figure out who will go to the think fast game show with me. i met new freshmen and that feels weird too. I feel like i'm still supposed to be a freshman. i have my first Jamie session tomorrow...yay for the shrink.

my parents got me a new camera. for no apparent reason. i love my new camera and i love pestering people to take random ass pics even more. yesterday was a really fab day, it really was. Dani and i just bummed around all day and we christened my new camera. i met Ann and Whit at the movie on the lawn at wakehurst, which was Ironman and we ended up liking. today i had my first VIA class with Dr. Hersh and this kid walked out because the conversation was depressing him. i bummed around with Glynnis for a good part of the day and i had chorus and mads later. it's been great, but i just miss Rachel a lot. so many times i wanted to run into Reefe (even though she wouldn't be there anyway) and bang on her door. one of the new freshmen that i met lives on her floor and that made me sad. i miss going on the cliff walk with her and miley caf meals and pestering Shane with her. i miss Claire being right next door. at least i still have K living with me.

and.......i guess we can say that i'm a little......homesick.