i've discovered that i love to write about myself

in honor of all of those fact things on Facebook...
i'm combining the two i made. and adding more. because it's 1:18 am and i'm not tired.

1. I'm a sophomore (where did the time go?) at Salve Regina University and I LOVE it though I'll always be a New Yorker at heart. I plan on returning to Long Island once I graduate from Salve. I'm a Religious Studies major and a Music minor, and I want to go to the Master's degree program in Religious Studies from Fordham University, where I wanted to go before I found Salve.

2. I'm very loud sometimes and I guess what one could consider obnoxious. For all intense and purposes, I don't mean to piss people off. I'm intent on speaking my mind but I'm genuinely sorry if the way I go about it offends you. My social work professor indirectly referred to me the other day as "the oone who never shuts up." I told her my mother would kiss her feet for saying that, seeing as she has to listen to me all of the time. ;-) Love you Mom.

3. I'm an only child and I'm admittedly spoiled. I went to Confession once and told my pastor that I felt like I was too materialistic. He told me that as long as I gave back to people that Jesus does not want me to commit myself to a life of poverty. I do my best to give back to people and I very much recognize how lucky I am to keep the lifestyle that I do.

4. I'm extremely devoted to my parents and I'm so proud of their 25 year marriage and even longer commitment to each other. They didn't always have it easy and what they worked through could merit them a special on Oprah though I think they're too humble for that. While sometimes I want to scream at them, that's what parents are for and I would be NOWHERE without them..I wouldn't even feel as though I had God, because they brought me to Him. They are genuinely the most important people in my life and I would do absolutely anything for them even if it meant risking my own life.

5. I like being Catholic. I like knowing that no matter where I go in life, Jesus will be there. I feel that my commitment to Him is very important because there is no greater sacrifice than what He went through.

6. I take care of others before myself. I'm routinely referred to as "Mom" and it's been said that I even have a Mom Car....and it's true, seeing as I wanted an SUV so I could drive around everyone who needed a ride. I'm very, very protective of people almost to a fault. My roomate laughs at me and always says that I "take care of EVERYONE!" Michelle laughs at me because I "have a nine to five and a minivan.." but correction, a COMPACT SUV!

7. I love my friends, in New York, at Salve, wherever. They are the Lights of God in my life. I think about where I was in life some years ago and then I think about the friends I have now and I could not be more thankful. I've been referred to as taking friendship very seriously. I truly give my heart to people who give their heart to me. I don't make friends easily, but it kills me to lose friends. I love to take so many pictures because I need to remember EVERYTHING that we do together!

8. I love being surrounded by people and knowing everyone, but sometimes it gets overwhelming. Three times last week, I introduced myself to friends of my friends and the conversation resulted in something along the lines of...Me: Hi, I'm Gracie! Other Person: Yup, I know.

9. Disney World and Christmas are my two favorite entities in life. I usually emit tears upon embarking in either one.

10. I've been seriously depressed but I'm inspired every day by how I managed to come out of the funk. I remember what I'm made of, that if i could get through that, I could get through anything. That time in my life is becoming easier to talk about and deal with because I know that there are people who genuinely care and I'm not constantly questioning their trust. I am occasionally still haunted by that time, but I remember what I have now and the sad tears turn to happy ones.

11. I'm a narotic fool concerning grades. I can't even manage to sing my best in my voice lessons because I constantly have in the back of my mind that I'm getting graded on every lesson. My voice teacher sympathasizes and says that she wouldn't grade me if it wasn't a departmental policy. I know this is something I need to work on, but the thought of not graduating with honors or not making Dean's List gives me a knot in my stomach. I might actually get better grades if I was less nervous.

12. I overcommit myself, but somewhere in my mixed up mind I know I must like it to some degree. I'm taking 20 credits this semester, I have a major and a minor, I'm in the VIA program, I'm on SGA, I helped plan the campus ministry retreat, I do other campus ministry events, I sing in Madrigals, University Chorus, and church choir, I do babysitting and church choir when I'm home, and somehow I manage to have a social life and keep in touch with my friends from home when I'm at school. Phew!

13. I love singing and performing. In case you hadn't noticed, I have no issue with being up in front of a crowd unless I'm going to be critiqued...then I don't get stage fright, but rather I become a nut job perfectionist. I'd like to think that I'm a good entertainer and sometimes in a social setting I fall into entertainer mode without realizing it...I sing random notes, I overdramatize, or I fall into a stand up comedy routine. I always ask my friends where they would be without my comic relief...and my mother has to remind me to Get Off The Stage.

14. I have feelings for someone that I've had for over a year now. I'm not sure if he feels the same way about me.

15. I'm sometimes very, very sarcastic, but I have a bigger heart than most people you'll ever meet. Do something nice for me, as small as writing an inside joke on a piece of paper just to cheer me up, and I will hug all over you like you just saved my life. Recently I expressed to someone that I was very happy about something and the response was that they would have loved to be there to see me happy because they could imagine it in their head.

16. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm extremely long winded when I'm writing so I apologize!

17. I'm terrified of heights. I couldn't even look over the railing down three floors when I lived in Miley last year, without freaking out.
18. I think I've been to Disney World sixteen times and it has yet to get old.
19. I absolutely adore being from New York, though there really is nothing to do on Long Island.
20. Both of my roomates are not from the US--Laura is from Ireland and K is from Japan.
21. My 2008 calendar was of Chippendales models ^_^
22. I order take-out at least once a week, maybe even twice.
23. I claim to hate Britney Spears, yet I have seven or eight of her songs on my iPod.
24. I go through a case of water every two weeks and I have empty bottles all over my room to prove it.
25. I love to go through old photo albums--there are days when I think I look exactly the same as I did when I was little but then I see the pictures and...not so much.
26. I am allergic to: dust, mold, pollen, ragweed, and other wonderful outdoorsy things. I have been asked if I have asthma because when all of those allergens are active at the same time I have trouble breathing.
27. I have been singing seriously since I was 12 and I used to think I wanted a record deal.
28. I genuinely love to participate in class. If you know me, you know that I rarely have trouble speaking my mind.
29. I really want my mother to do this note. I'd love to see what she comes up with to write.
30. I missed my dad a lot this week after I had a dream that he came to Salve to visit me and brought me a big stuffed animal. My father is the only person in my life who I want to treat me like I'm four.
31. My favorite song of all time is Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance; according to the counters on my iTunes, I have played it 110 times. Ironically, I know very few other MCR songs.
32. I met John Stamos when I was seven, when he was in a revival of How to Succeed. I'm pretty sure I called him Uncle Jesse.
33. I ran for student government four times between middle school and high school and I never won...then I came to college and I'm on the SGA senate. Student government is honestly everything I thought it would be.
34. I don't remember the last time I went to sleep before midnight. At this point any earlier time just feels weird.
35. I love my church choir from my home church. Most of its members are over fifty but they are like another family to me. They are an extremely encouraging group of people and they are always so happy to see me!
36. Midnight Mass makes my life. Period.
37. I am a HOUSE MD FANATIC. I own seasons 1-4 on DVD, I've seen every single episode ever made, I own SIX House T-shirts and a book called The House That Hugh Laurie Built that contains an episode guide, I have a framed promo poster in my room at home, and I am guilty of owning a replica of House's Flaming Cane. I was so happy when House moved to Mondays because on Tuesdays I have student government meetings!
38. In concert, I've seen Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, Bon Jovi, Van Halen, and John Mayer, and I have been to Z100's Jingle Ball three times.
39. I take more pictures than I know what to do with.
40. I used to babysit for two families on my street and I am still close with both of them.
41. I may be the most nostalagic person you will ever meet.

and...a special fact that is just too special to have a number: I am going to be a Godparent on March 8th to my cousin's daughter who is also nicknamed Gracie!!

42. I'm working on my Bucketlist.
43. I love game shows--I watched Wheel of Fortune with my mother when I was a kid, but my favorites ever are probably The Price is Right, Deal or No Deal, or Supermarket Sweep. I even wrote a term paper in eighth grade on game shows.
44. I'm really close to my grandmother on my mom's side.
45. When people around me are depressed, I tend to take on their pain because I know how it feels, and I don't want them to go through it.
46. I can't sleep with a light on in my room.
47. I talk to my mother, Bevin, Shane, Gauri, and Michelle at least five times per week either online or on the phone.
48. I'm addicted to text messaging.
49. I slept through a class once freshman year and ever since, I wake up at least once before my alarm goes off because I'm paranoid. I actually cried when that happened.
50. I tend to leave necklaces on for weeks at a time.
51. I never lost a cell phone, though I always think I lost it.
52. I've ordered chocolate milk at a restaurant and I was over the age of 18.
53. I love going for drives down Ocean Drive with Glynnis.
54. At home, I sleep with my laptop on my bed and put on a movie or House episodes because I got so used to sleeping with the TV on at school.
55. My New York Accent comes out more when I'm with my parents.
56. I can't wait for baseball season.
57. I love chocolate chip muffins from Jazzman's.
58. I own a Snuggie, though Shane was reluctant to ring it up when I bought it. ^_^
59. Since we don't have anything like Ocean Drive at home, I love to drive around aimlessly with my friends to the most random places at random hours.
60. Bevin and I still swing on playground swings every time I'm home.
61. I never knew what Ma's, Shaw's, Brooks Pharmacy, Ocean State Job Lot, Christmas Tree Shops, or Del's was until I came to Salve.
62. In exactly twelve days I will be forever free of relying on the RIPTA as I will be bringing my car back to Salve with me.
63. I'm not a huge fan of Christian rock or the P&W genre; I tend to stick to more traditional worship songs and hymns. I am willing to give Christian rock more of a chance, though.
64. When Allie and I were in fifth grade and Ari was in fourth, we produced our own "movie" and made our parents and some of our other friends star in it. Apparently, my mother still has some of the raw footage.
65. I go shopping on Black Friday every year at Target and other stores in Broadway Mall with my mother and whoever is brave enough to join us.
66. I once wrote a sixty-two page novella about a girl from a broken home named Lexy.
The storyline actually isn't all that bad.
67. I've been compared to Little Orphan Annie, courtesy of Frank.
68. Salve and Summerstock were the best things that ever happened to me.
69. I'm obsessed with my cousins...creepy as that sounds. But I mean it with all of the love in the world.
70. I used to love going to Gauri's dad's company holiday party every year. Great Indian food, great friends, really fun dancing, an excuse to wear a pretty dress, and cute waiters ;-)
71. I honestly can't decide when the best day/night of my life was; I have too many choices!
72. I love working at State Farm and I never take off my "I'm There" rubber bracelet, in case anyone had any doubt that I was a Good Neighbor.
73. Trashy music is my guilty pleasure.
74. I own far too many pink items; my dorm sheets, wireless mouse, lamp, iPod, Skullcandy headphones, Uggs, binders, phone, wastebasket, iHome to Go, retainer case, bookbag, big puffy North Face ski jacket, curtains in my room at home, and multiple clothing items are all pink.
75. I can sing the soprano line of the Halleluiah Chorus by heart.
76. I went to All-County twice and All-State once, and I did a summer select choir program that was a week long the summer after my junior year of high school.
77. My favorite restaurants at home are La Pace and Cafe Fiorello.
78. My favorite Newport restaurants are Lucia's and Spark.
79. I order the exact same thing every time I eat at the Brick Alley Pub; the spinach and artichoke dip, without the chips. I eat the whole dip with a spoon.
80. I've learned a lot about what it means to make your own kind of music. I couldn't have done it without help because there is so much social risk involved.
81. I haven't seen my parents in two weeks; just two short years ago, that thought would have made me hysterical.
82. It makes me mad that the drink cups in Sky Ranch have been moved to the register area instead of where they used to be, next to the soda fountain. I have reached for a cup by the soda fountain when there were no cups there, far too many times.
83. I started mentoring last semester for a girl named Cassy who lives at a group home. It has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.
84. I'm a lot deeper than people realize when they first meet me.
85. I love being at Salve, but I'm always happy to go home. I'm not one of those people who can't wait to get back to school after a break because they can't wait to get out of their house; I can't wait to go back just because I want to see my friends.
86. I'm pretty sure I had a crush on Captain Von Trapp...the character, not the actor (Christopher Plummer) or the real person.
87. As dorky as this sounds, I'd love to ride in the Popemobile.
88. I'm planning on doing a short-term study abroad session next summer. I can't do it this summer because I wouldn't miss Bevin's graduation unless I had some uncurable disease!
89. I think Obama Girl is hilarious.
90. One of the baristas at the Starbucks closest to my house knows me by my car.
91. I think I would cry if I met Andy Roddick or Hugh Laurie.
92. Aside from House, my favorite character on House is Cuddy; I have the most personality traits in common with her. Gauri and I call each other House and Cuddy, and I was Cuddy for Halloween freshman year.
93. I love crashing Summerstock cast parties at the Greenvale Diner, and at this point it's a give that I'll show up.
94. In a moment of madness last week, I thought about going for a doctorate eventually.
95. I had the most awesome two-hour long conversation last night with Ann, Ben, and Whit at Ann's house.
96. I still don't know if I'm going to go on the Spring Retreat or go to DC with my VIA class. I need to get on that.
97. At some point, I'd love to write editorials for a Catholic newspaper like the Long Island Catholic.
98. Newport is an awesome place to go to college, but since freshman year I knew that once I graduate, I'm going back to New York for good, hopefully. Coming to New England was a bit of a culture shock!
99. I've seen Joan David once this year and that depresses me.
100. I need to get more sleep!

SURPRISE!

sometimes i like surprises...like surprise parties and surprise presents and surprise hugs and even surprise visits.

but...aside from that i'm not really a fan of surprises. i need to be in control. as i just said to Michelle, i'd be very, very happy if everyone and their brothers let me know where they were all of the time. i don't like it when i don't know what i'm doing (though i'll say things like 'i can't think that far ahead' but i tend to know what i'm up to before it happens) and i don't like it when i don't know what people are doing. even when i was a kid, i didn't like it when someone was picking me up from school or an activity that wasn't my mother (unless it was my dad and he got home from work early)..if i didn't know in advance that that person was coming to get me.

ergo...today was quite a surprise. and not the kind that makes me happy. the kind that sends me through a loop. and yet, at the same time, i know i shouldn't be happy....
......but i guess i kind of am. ;-)

weekend update

i'm thinking back to this time last year (i tend to do that a lot) and i remember how i was so, so sad after Christmas break. all i wanted to do was be back at home and i was on the phone with my mom, crying, every night the first week i was back at Salve. i can remember sitting in the Miley hallway and just wanting my own bed and my own room, for that matter.

this year, however, was DRASTICALLY different. last Sunday when i went to Mass at home for the last time for a while...i did cry, but i was over it eventually. when we got to Salve i met my new roomate, Laura, who is from IRELAND! i also put up new pics and fixed the old ones on my wall that were pretty much epic failing. my parents took Glynnis and i out to the Brick then i stayed in the hotel with them that night.

Monday-got my act together mostly...and when my parents left, i actually didn't cry for pretty much the first time. i met up with Nicole and Ben later and we played on Nicole's new Wii and then watched the new HOUSE episode (which was great, but next week's looks better). Tuesday we started classes and i hung out with Sara a lot...and watched the Inaugration with Anna Mae and Phil and Nicole (and i felt really, really badly for Obama when the chief justice flubbed the Oath of Office. that was terrible!).

and then on Wednesday all of my grand decision-making skills went to WASTE. i had pretty much come to the decision that i was going to participate in the Madrigals' cabaret and be on the team for the spring retreat instead of being in the musical this semester BUT...when i got to my VIA class, i found out that our big class trip to Washington, DC is on...THE SAME WEEKEND AS THE RETREAT. WHY does conflict RUIN MY LIFE? i still haven't been able to talk to Anna Mae about what i'm going to do. i just wish everything was scheduled when i could do it all. i'd still be able to do the cabaret but that doesn't require working toward something like the retreat all semester. no fair. not at all. i went to Ann's apartment for dinner that night, then had my first Jesus and the Gospels class with Sr. Marta :-) and i pretty much forgot all about the big decision...almost.

Thursday was a relatively easy day (one class, music rehearsals, and SGA office). this semester, i'm pretty much done with the week by Wednesday night because i only have one class on Thursdays and one class on Fridays. once i clear Wednesday, it's pretty easy from there. finally the weekend came. on Friday..Glynnis and i took a road trip to Coventry to visit Shane at work (who I haven't seen in forever). came back and went all over. went to Panera for dinner with Megan, found Glynnis driving around Newport, went to see Nick and Norah's Infinate Playlist in Wakehurst with Claire and Alli and Kerrin, then we met up with Megan again and we went to Ma's and Ocean Drive..for the second time that day.

Saturday i hung out with Kelly, who it was sooooo good to see. we just went to the Brick but i don't go for lunch too often and for once on a Saturday afternoon it wasn't overloaded with tourists. went to visit my Wifey at Miley Mart, went over to Glynnis', and then went on a grand adventure with Sara which was so awesome. Sara is from South County and knows her way around Rhode Island really, really well. so we went to get our nails done, visited her mom where she works, and went to this local place called Gregg's. on the way home Sara showed me her high school, and the cute little town of Wickford. in the past two days i saw so much of Rhode Island that i've never seen before...between going to Coventry and North Kingstown and Wickford.

and now, it's *sigh* time for homework. because i had too much fun all weekend.

today, of all days...

well, that was one confusing day...yet at the same time it was awesome.

i think Fate may be playing with my heart. just when i've got a plan, i get thrown something from out of nowhere.

today was SERIOUSLY NOT THE DAY for that to happen!

and yet...it's so exciting!

this world doesn't understand!

so i got back to Salve yesterday (and i'm actually really happy to be back) and Ben told me all about FOCA...which i'd actually never heard of before.

FOCA = Freedom of Choice Act.

this act, if passed, will lift the ban on partial birth abortions that was passed in 2003 that we fought so hard for. it will also make the right to an abortion a fundamental constitutional right, remove parental consent laws for underage girls seeking abortions, allow abortions to not be limited to only licensed doctors, and force doctors employed by faith-based hospitals to perform abortions.

THIS IS A DISGRACE.

now, i've decided to be patriotic and support Obama as he is our president. and i didn't like it when Bush was in office and democrats were saying all they had to say about him and are now wanting us right-wings to be patriotic. but i'd be a hypocrite if i wasn't. but...i pray that Obama has the sense and conscience to NOT SIGN THE FOCA. it was proposed because it was said that women did not have the same equal rights as men as the right to an abortion was not a fundemental constitutional right; BUT! NO ONE, not a man, not a woman, not black or white or straight or gay, HAS A RIGHT TO PLAY GOD AND DECIDE WHO LIVES OR DIES. these are innocent lives, no matter how they came into existance.

my rant ends here.

i hate this feeling
i guess i always will
i hope that the world can understand
that some things are just irreplacable.

i know, it makes no sense
should i even feel like this?
my life would be so much easier
if this wasn't so hard every time.

doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?

goodbye who?

I WORKED TODAY!!!!! YAYYYYYYY!!!!

and i was all choked up about not going to work at State Farm anymore.

maybe, just maybe, in some cases...there is no such thing as goodbye.

what's even funnier is that i haven't done any State Farm work since August...and yet the only things i messed up were:
1) i didn't know where to put my jacket because there was never a need for a jacket when i worked there.
2) i didn't know where Suzanne kept the shredder bags because i went to look for them where they were usually kept and they weren't there.
3) i wrote a credit card number where a check number goes but i caught it in time.
4) i said "good morning" on the phone past noon.

i proceded to think (and tell Margaret) that it amazed me that i remembered practically EVERYTHING. yet when i spend a semester in a class, i'm convinced that i need to re-study all of the information for a final. of course in a class it's different material every day instead of doing essentially the same work every day...but still. i forgot how confident i felt after handling a day at that place. and while i didn't do a whole lot of work, i'm still tired! but i felt needed and well-respected and all of that warm, fuzzy stuff.

and now, a true office conversation (and an example of why i love my workplace):
Suzanne: I've been thinking about getting a dog again.
Me: Oh, good! Get a bichon...they're great!
Suzanne: Well, I wanted to get a big dog...I'm thinking I want to get a Laberdoodle or a Portugese Water Dog and be like the Obamas. (insert giggle here).
Me: Oh, thanks. (sarcasm)
Suzanne: Didn't you miss me? Who else do you have to torture you all day long?

what's really so wrong anyway?
what the hell is the big deal?
get over it.

don't make me be the grown-up here
i always had to be
when i was only a child.

now i don't want to deal
i don't want to care
I JUST WANT IT TO STOP.

did all that work
just go to waste?
or should i spend my time somewhere else.

i just want to whine about it
hide in my room and be a perpetual child
and not come out until it's over.

GONE.
FINISHED.

get on your hazmat suits and take it out of the air so i don't have to breathe it.

i'd be idealistic to think it won't ever happen again.
but go crap up someone else's air with it so i don't have to feel like this.

welcome to wherever you are

christmas is over. Disney is over. Both were awesome, for the record; I got to spend some great times with my fav cousins ^_^ in my favorite place in the world. i'm already thinking about the next time i'll get to go to Disney (though i've already been there TOO MANY TIMES but who really cares?) and while i'm feeling sad that both of those things are over...i still have eight and a half days left of freedom. and if that was the beginning of a regular old break i'd be thrilled right now. so i'm going to think of it that way instead of being sad about everything ending.

i've been getting to see my 516 loves, though i miss the crap out of Gauri since she's been in India since she left my house, practically. and while i don't want my freedom to be over, i am excited to see all my Salve loves. that's the way it always goes. i must sound like a broken record. i'm working two days at State Farm next week and i get to meet baby Gracie on Monday!!!!!! and provided we don't get snowed in, Aunt Viv and Uncle Jay are coming tomorrow and i haven't seen them since my dad's birthday in JULY. i think i'm in withdrawl. the cousins are coming too and we'll get to talk in "E-language" like we did in Disney; "E-language" is something that Joe and his friend essentially made up. you say a regular word but replace every vowel in the word with the "E" sound. it sounds so stupid, but once you get going with it it's hilarious.

and today we had breaking news that leaves me unsettled. it's almost as though the situation is wishing me...Surprise! Happy New Year! but in the most sarcastic sense. but at the same time, it could turn out exactly how i want it to but i don't want to get ANY hopes up. because when i do that then..all hell breaks loose, pretty much.

but there is nothing i can do about it right now. so i may as well enjoy my remaining freedom.