my head is still on spring break.

yet, there are so many things that i can't WAIT for!!!!

it's kind of scary how familiar things become. i go home and it feels like i've never left. i come back to school and it feels like i've never left. i honestly don't know where i'm happier...but i suppose that's a good problem, right? but then why am i always so excited to go home but get sad when i have to leave?

well, a few things are obvious.

NY > RI...NY > just better than everyone.. period.
friends at home--> known some as long as 15 years...friends at school-->known for just over a year.
at home, i have a REAL BED. i can eat REAL PIZZA and REAL BAGELS. yes, i ate pizza not one, not two, not three, but FOUR times this past week. that is how disgustingly much i missed honest to goodness pizza.
i can drive my car anywhere before 7PM...no stupid parking regs. but they are a small price to pay as opposed to the trolley!
and the dead obvious one: my parents, my grandma, and my dog. after 18 years of seeing them every day/week, it's STILL weird to only see them for limited periods of time, every month or so. some people here go home practically every weekend. occassionally, i'm jealous. i wish i could do that...but that would NOT have worked freshman year.

but then we examine my life here, at Salve:

my friends here are AMAZING.
i get to see a certain member of the opposite sex on a regular basis.
sometimes, it's really great to show my parents how much i am capable of living on my own...though even after a year and a half, i still doubt my capabilities from time to time.
i really like going to Jamie every week...i was at a point where i thought going to therapy once every few weeks was good enough, but if i can go every week, it sure helps things a lot.
i'm actually used to the Army Cot that Res Life calls a bed. i wouldn't choose to sleep on it, but most nights by the time i get there, i could crash on the floor.
i get to really, really connect to some awesome religious life.
most of my life, my friends never lived close by. one of the awesome things about college is that you can just drop in or hang out whenever you want.
i think i've only had one or two professors that i couldn't stomach...in four semesters, that's pretty good.

but people look at their lives at any point in time and clearly know Where Their Life Is. and guess what...i don't know where my life is. can someone's life be in two different places? before coming to Salve i only had one place to have a life. and i haven't left that life behind. i used to call it my "old life" but it's not old...i wouldn't even call it secondary. it's my Home Life. and here, i have my College Life.

i feel like i spend so much time deliberating over this particular topic.