idealism

that's the first picture that comes to my mind when i think of idealism. i know we've all seen it...but it still makes such an impression on me. that man changed his country just by standing. that was all he had to do. if we all thought that ideally, the world would be so much better.

people don't usually get that i'm an idealist until i say something that allows for them to have the 'a-ha!' moment. they usually tell me that i'm 'so cute' or they just yell, ohmygosh, you're an idealist! that's precious.

yes. there are still a few of us.

i have hope. i know there's a bad world out there. i'm not naive. but having hope will allow me to get through it. i have something to believe in. i have faith. i pray. i'm not realistic. i have it set up in my mind that i can push myself through anything...and when i realize that i'm actually not invincible, it takes me a while to deal with that realization. i like to think that i impress people, and in spite of them seeing multiple people in a day, i'll stand out. they'll remember me. i like to believe that i'm not just another face in the croud...but the truth is, my greatest fear could be being invisible...being a number...just another face in the croud. and my heart tells me i'll never be that...because i'm an idealist.

i don't give up on people easily. i've been let down and somehow i know there will be a need for them later on. i want them to be better people. i want to forgive. i don't trust easily because i'm afraid that once i do trust, i'll trust too much and put all of my faith in someone, and be let down. and then, i'll try and find them again.

i don't like leaving anyone out or hurting the feelings of anyone who i remotely care about. in my mind, we really will all keep in touch and be BFFS forever. no joke...this is how i've set this all up. i've named my children, designed bridesmaid dresses, picked out an ideal career, and perhaps fallen in love...all by age 20. because i have a plan. because i'm an idealist.

idealists have a sort of child-like enthusiasm for the way they go about things. no obstacle is too large. no time constraint matters. stupid rules are to be broken, unless someone gets hurt (or in my case, unless it effects my grade...then i actually think, go figure.). who needs sleep? THERE IS NO REALITY.

and at that moment when i touch someone's life or make my own better by being an idealist...it is all worth it.