sometimes it's so easy to forget

how good you have it.

the truth of the matter is that this world really isn't fair. you go through high school with everyone scaring you about college and getting into college and how hard that's gonna be with the phrases like "how do i market my child for college?" and "oooh gracie where did ya hear from? because I heard from such and such university" with the undertone of my colleges are so so so much better than your colleges and shit like that. then you actually get here, it's absolutely amazing minus the first two homesick weeks and the small ass dorm room and all the weight you gain and the showers with the flip flops. but i'm not even here for a whole year and they're hi-tailing us into a lecture hall to hear about...careers. yup. all i hear Shane talk about is job interviews this and application that...but he did GRADUATE college already and should be worrying about that. doesn't mean that hearing about it doesn't scare me like the presentation did. like my mom always says about fads and the way that young girls dress, it gets younger and younger. we're being pushed into the next stage of life already...can i please just get through this semester and then we'll talk? thanks.

but the truth of the matter is that while the world may not be fair, God is. Rachel told me today that i think like a 5-year old and i laughed and called an 'idealist.' i don't want to see people get hurt. i think things like 4/20 are stupid. i can't think about oral sex without getting grossed out. i like to sit in the front row of my classes and freak out about school and my GPA. i write pathetic love poems. i pray for everyone and everything. i don't like it when people get mad at me. i don't want to think about the next stage of my life. i'd kind of like to stay in college forever but at the same time i'd love to get into bed with my mommy like i did when i was little. but it is true that God is fair. God grants good friends to good people. He gives us things in life that we probably don't deserve but He loves us enough to give them to us anyway. i don't think that God planned for the world to turn out this way, but if you believe that God is there, then He really, really will take care of you. my friends are the proof that God is there because I see Him in them. i know that i don't see God in everyone and i get all judgemental and crap. i suppose we all have our flaws, but maybe i should trust a little more...

it's just so easy to forget how good life can be.