late night poetry :'-(

i can’t sleep anymore
i want to stay awake forever
and lose myself in everything you are.
as I stare into the night
stare at this blank screen
stare at your messages
at the last thing you said
and I remember
that I have such a short time
to be at your side.
these mood swings are killing me
they tear my hope apart
and then you put it back together
before reality has the chance
to tell me the bluntest truth.
i keep searching for the right words
to tell you just how much
i’ll miss you and how much I’ll notice
that you’re not around.
i’m too exhausted
physically and emotionally
and too scared
to find the words.